I remember October 6th of 2012 so clearly. I know it changed my life along with so many others. That Saturday morning I remember sitting in my living room, eating a bagel, wearing my pajamas and ready to take notes on all that I was going to be taught from General Conference. As I sat beside my dad I listened to President Thomas S. Monson, the Prophet of the LDS church, announce new temples that were to be built and dedicated in the upcoming year. And then President Monson proceeded to make a huge announcement that would and has changed the church forever. He then announced that the age that Young Men could serve missions would change from 19 to the age of 18, he then continued on and stated that along with the age change for Young Men, the age would change from age 21 to 19 for Young Women. I remember I heard the gasps through the TV and as the cameras scanned the Conference center for peoples reaction, I looked at my dad. He smiled at me and I smiled back, "I could go in a year and a couple months!" I squealed. He told me that I could! I could very well be on a mission that soon. We paused the TV so that I could call people I knew, my siblings, my friends, anyone that would understand how much a difference this was. I couldn't stop smiling and once I had finished calling everyone I needed to talk to, we continued on watching Conference, I remember that was probably the most notes I have ever taken during General Conference. I know that the reason behind that is because all I could think about was a mission, I knew that that was what I was meant to do, I was supposed to serve the Lord to bring others unto Christ for 18 months when the time came.
The excitement of the age change lasted for a long time after the initial announcement. All my friends talked about how they were going to go, most of them were girls because it was more of a real impact that we could look at a year ahead or and think, yes I want to go, or no I don't, either of which is fine. I knew I was going to go on a mission, I knew I was going to go.
But then in April of 2013, my dads health started to decrease and soon he was in the hospital having to get his second leg amputated. As my family and I went through this trying time, my mission was most definitely not at the forefront of my mind. My dad began to get better, and his strength was improving as he went through rehab and physical therapy as he began to learn to walk again with two prosthetic legs. I remember the day before he was going to come home, my mom and I went to see him and make sure everything was alright for him to be discharged the next day. As he showed us how he could stand on his one leg, balanced and stand for a full minute and then stand again and sway back and forth as we played the classic Tina Turner song "Proud Mary."
Unexpectedly three days later after coming home from the hospital, my dad passed away in his sleep. This great trial that was set before my family and I changed our whole worlds forever. I remember the next day after it happened, my Senior Dance Recital was happening. I went back and forth with myself of whether or not I should do it, if I would be able to pull through, if people would judge me for doing it this soon after all of this had happened. These thoughts ran through my head when all I really wanted to think about was nothing. My siblings told me that I should do what I wanted, but that they thought that my dad would have wanted me to go through with it, no matter what. My mom pulled me aside and told me it was ultimately my decision but she would be proud no matter what I decided. I went through with it, and even though it was a hard choice to make, I look back at it now, and I am so grateful for that decision to go and preform. I know that my dad would have wanted it and would have been so proud, he always loved seeing us kids being in our element.
As the next few months continued on, it never truly hit me that my father was actually gone, that he was no longer in this world, but he was now with our Father in Heaven. That July my sister got married, August my brother moved, and that September I was moving across the country to start my freshmen year of college. And all while these things were happening, a mission never crossed my mind, ever. I had ultimately put it into the back of my mind since that April. It was no longer my main focus, I was thinking of how I was going to make it through the next day. The thought occurred to me on multiple occasions; how in the world was I going to be able to go and live on my own with it only being four months after the passing of one of my best friends?
I look back on my first semester of college and... it was no walk in the park. There were hard times, there were tears, there were moments when I wanted to just go home and give up. But my dads voice would always pop into my head and I would hear him say "You can do it, you got this."
As the end of the semester rolled around, one of the girls in my Young Single Adult ward got her LDS mission call. One of my roommates was closer friends with her, and she wanted me to come with her to the opening of this girls mission call. I remember the feeling of not being comfortable because I didn't know anyone and I didn't really even know the girl who was opening her call. We sang a hymn before she opened it and as she opened her call, she was so excited, you could see the light in her eyes of how thrilled she was to find out where the Lord needed her to serve and to bring others unto Christ. She read where she was going and everyone cheered, everyone was excited for her. As my roommate and I left, we went back to our apartment and I sat on the sofa, thinking about all that had happened and I then was overwhelmed by Heavenly Father speaking to me saying, "Shelby, you need to go." It was a shock. I hadn't been thinking about going on a mission for the longest time, especially since I had just lost my dad, there was no possible way I could go and serve for 18 months... but then again, why couldn't I? It was later that week that the decision was made, that I would start my papers to serve a mission.
As the beginning of my second semester started I was working on my papers fervently, wanting to get them in as soon as possible. I hit some roadblocks along the way, but I kept moving forward with the choice to serve because I knew that that was what the Lord had in store for me from the beginning. There were moments I am sure all Sisters or Elders feel at one point or another, am I ready? Can I do this? There were moments with tears and worry that I am not ready or prepared enough. But when March rolled around and my papers were still not in, I became frustrated, I just wanted them in, I wanted to know where I was going. But before I knew it, my papers were in, and it all felt so surreal, like it wasn't truly happening. I got my call 11 days after submitting them to Salt Lake City to be assigned, I was called to the Arizona Scottsdale Mission Spanish Speaking.
As I opened my call, this was where I was needed to go, this is where the Lord needed me and I knew it. I knew it with all my heart that the people of Arizona needed me to come and to serve. The peace I felt was comforting beyond belief.
Now this is my story of why I decided to serve my Father in Heaven, I am not telling others to go out and to serve because a decision such as this is such a personal and private matter made between an individual and our Heavenly Father. There are lots of prayer involved and having faith that all will work out is key, also patience that Heavenly Father will come through and that He is always there no matter what. His time table is what matters, not our own. It was my decision to serve a mission and though this decision is right for me, it does not mean that this decision is right for everyone. We all are different, we have different experiences and circumstance for a reason. My decision right now in life is to serve the Lord for 18 months and I could not be more excited.
I know that the Lord places trials in our lives to help us learn and grow. I love my Father in Heaven for constantly being there to always aid me when I am in need of help. I am grateful for the power of prayer and that I know that I can pray to my Heavenly Father and know that He is always there and He is my constant companion. I know that my Redeemer lives. I know that I am a loved Daughter of God, and that he knows me perfectly. I am grateful that He knows me and my situations in life, that He is always there no matter how lost I truly feel. I know that the Book of Mormon is true, that Joseph Smith restored the true Gospel to the earth today. I am thankful for the knowledge I have of eternal families and the chance that I will be able to see my father again. I am grateful for the temple and the peace and comfort I am able to feel while within their walls. I know that Christ atoned for my sins, that He gave His life for me so that I could live. I am honored for the chance I have to serve as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
